Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
