i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize