Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
My pussy is not your playground.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
