Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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