I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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