You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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