You're my little dorito
What a fucking waste of an outfit
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize