Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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