I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
