you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize