you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
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Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
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I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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