Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
