im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
