my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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