Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
