ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
