Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Randomize