So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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