Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
