I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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