I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
