I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
My nipple is on Facebook.
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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