As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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