he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Everything about him screamed your future.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
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making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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