It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
