We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
oh god the rape fog is back!
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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