She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
