I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Couch. On fire.
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