I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
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