We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
