is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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