i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
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we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
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