I wish I could teleport
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
