i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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