I just made out with a guy for $7.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
