he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
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and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
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Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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