i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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