My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
