Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Randomize
