my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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