You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
