is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
