Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
