Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
