I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
