Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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