Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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