I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Rumble strips road head = magical
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
