I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
