Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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