The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
