I'm sorry my penis didn't work
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
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