i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
