last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
