That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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